"Does she look like a girl?" Munch asked.
Just 2 minutes before, she was asking me if our 2 female dogs had vaginas -- which I confirmed with a head nod, and a "yes, they do, hunny, that's right." But the simple question shocked me. Why was my only just almost 3-year-old distinguishing the difference between boys and girls in way different from biological anatomy? In a way of superficial appearance? After all, she has worn many clothing items from the boys' section. There is wide arrange of colors in her wardrobe. I let her put headbands on her brothers. I have never told her she couldn't wear or have something because "that's for boys." I have even asked her if she wanted to dress her brother up in a princess dress before. But clearly, something went amiss in my goal to not genderize my children.
So, I did what any baffled parent would do when not knowing quite how to respond. I turned the questioning back onto the child.
"What does a girl look like?"
"A bow," Munch answered. "Does she have a bow in her hair?"
This response was equally confusing as she doesn't wear headbands or bows -- only for dress up and pretend play. And, during that pretend play, she typically puts them on her brothers.
Then at dinner the other night, she said the probably one of the most disturbing things a women's studies minor like myself could hear:
"I'm the princess. You [The Tank] be the prince. I need to be rescued. Come save me!"
My husband and I looked at each other with surprise and slight horror (maybe the horror was just radiating from me). Quickly, I said, "You NEVER need to be rescued, Munch! A princess can be strong and powerful and do amazing things all on her own!"
Her awesome Daddy chipped in with all the different princesses that don't need rescuing. And I was so grateful, as I am not really up-to-date on the ladies with crowns who aren't damsels in distress -- other than Frozen's Elsa and Anna. Ironically, he "saved" the day -- or, at least rescued my daughter's budding female identity and confidence in her princess abilities in that moment.
Later that night as I pondered the events during dinner while browsing Facebook, a mother posted a toy for sale, and I jumped on it right away. I know Munch will really like it for her birthday...