Do you know what's right inside that cupboard door? The trash can. (And yes, I know my floor is crusty and my cupboards are shit. I blame that on the kids, too.)
By Annie
Do you know what's right inside that cupboard door? The trash can. (And yes, I know my floor is crusty and my cupboards are shit. I blame that on the kids, too.)
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Dear Amiri King and Everyone Else Who Gets Off on Mom-Shaming*, Stop. Amiri, we don’t know who you are or what your story is, but we do know that a mere two days ago you shared this photo, presumably without the mother’s permission, with a pompous statement about technology and humanity, and that your post has been shared enough times that we now have to see it appear in our social feeds. Where to begin, Amiri and your fellow mom-shamers, where to begin? Let’s start with what we do know, which is typically a sensible place to start (though it appears you jumped quite a few stages beyond that in your post.) So, here is what we can reasonably infer from this photo:
So, please, tell us again, what exactly is so abhorrent about this situation? Oh, right, the woman is looking at her smartphone. Ok, let’s open the door, then, to all these concepts that we, as complete strangers, do not know: Maybe this woman is checking her flight itinerary. Maybe she is reviewing a checklist of safety and prep tips for flying with an infant. Maybe she is messaging whomever is meeting her on the other side to relay the fact that her flight was delayed by hours and hours, so that they could make a new plan. Maybe she is messaging her partner about how tough it’s going to be flying with the baby alone. Maybe she needs a goofy messenger sticker and a few words of encouragement. "Sometimes when I come home, I can hear them all screaming when I'm still a good five feet from the door. I have to take a deep breath and brace myself before walking into my own house. Assholes. Every last one of them."
By Annie I wanted to write something in honor of my son’s first day of kindergarten, something a little wispy, a little powerful, a trail of truth that he could one day trace back into the purple folds of my heart. But I just… didn’t. He went, I watched, and we both got on with it. A few tears (mine) and a lot of nervous energy (both), but in the end, it was sunny Monday in August. He was impossibly small. Life, as we both knew it, was not monumentally altered. For the weeks leading up to the first day of school, Henry’s looming kindergarten start was my topic of choice in the “what’s new” chatter among coworkers and lovely humans who are no longer everyday friends. Every time, I used the line, “I’m not ready to give him to the world yet.”
Dramatic, right? A kid starting his compulsory education isn’t exactly akin to a violent severing or a sacrifice made through gritted teeth. And yet. There are things that I know and things that I feel. And those things? They aren’t always the same. I know that Henry will still be small for several more years and will live in my heart as a floppy-haired 5-year-old forever. But there is something so inherently magical about a boy in his tiny boyhood. The loud, loose laughter. The sloppy, sticky-cheeked kisses. The constant wonder. "My problem was that screen time meant I could do other shit and ignore them. Now that we're screen-free, I still ignore them but they're used to finding shit to do on their own."
Listen up, mamas. We know your social feeds are blowing UP with all the back-to-school photos, heartwarming blog posts and hilarious viral videos of moms celebrating their kids' departures. You can be as emotional as you want – or not emotional in the slightest – about back-to-school and still be a MOTY. But if, say, you're feeling like the hand-letttering on your First Day of Whatever Grade sign isn't quite as artistic as so-and-so's... well, you're probably not embracing your inner MOTY. And that is A-OK. Because you're probably also rocking back-to-school way harder than us. You're coping better than a MOTY if:
1. You have't lost your kid's vaccination report. Not that it would matter because your kid is definitely not missing any immunizations. 2. You purchased healthy lunch options to prep and most certainly didn't cave and buy lunchables during your pre-first-day shopping trip. 3. Speaking of shopping, you bought your kid that perfect new backpack just like you promised. 4. You didn't lie to the preschool teacher about your child being "fully potty-trained." 5. You have the correct logins for your kid's lunch account and have already loaded it up for the month. (Bonus: You also have the correct login information for your children's classroom apps and don't feel the slightest bit of resentment that you have to learn two different apps for kids who attend the same school.) 6. You aren't infinitely irritated that your preschooler is too attached to let you leave... and enjoy a delicious five hours of alone time already. 7. You fill out the PTA form and enclose the dues instead of putting it directly into your "filing system" (aka recycling bin). 8. You knew, without asking any grown ups, when the first day of school was. And that's just the first day stuff! See? Who cares if little Kaylynn's chalkboard has curlier letters and also announces that she wants to be an astronaut when she grows up? You're doing just fine, mama. And accepting that might just make you a MOTY after all. |
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September 2017
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