Nothing like eating the supper you just spent an hour and a half cooking cold, in the bathroom, while your kid screams and tries to scratch you.
By Annie
Nothing like eating the supper you just spent an hour and a half cooking cold, in the bathroom, while your kid screams and tries to scratch you.
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By Annie Head's up, mamas: Valentine boxes for your child's classroom party are a thing now. I'm not talking about cutting a slot in a shoebox and gluing on construction paper and doilies, possibly going all out with felt or glitter. No, like everything else, it's a Pinterest thing, and it's also very much a social media brag thing. These are no ordinary boxes. These are architecturally sound structures. They represent kid-culturally relevant icons, passions and hobbies, tie-ins to your child's room decor, or whatever else Pinterest Mama feels inspired by. Some light up! Some have actual moving parts! Most have delightfully punny greetings and playful openings. These boxes are some serious shit: Before those hives that covered your skin during Elf on the Shelf season start popping up, allow me to let you in on a little secret. Kids like making these together. No, I don't mean with you as a bonding project. I mean, they like to have little "Valentine Box" after-school parties where they make them together under the close watch of a mother with far better crafting (and baking) skills than MOTYs like us. Finagle your kid into getting an invite, and you could be home free! That's what this MOTY did when she heard her 9-year-old wanted to construct a tree: With all that said, I really do kinda want to be friends with the mama who made this one:
You're probably scrolling through Pinterest as we speak, thinking about all the different things you could make or do for your family on Valentine's Day. You have ideas for how to pamper your kids (Heart-shaped strawberry treats! Pink pancakes!), but aren't sure how you're going to surprise your partner.
You remember that you have that sexy pair of underpants in your drawer. You know the one I'm talking about, mamas. That one you bought pre-kids, the one that looks like it would make a wonderful garter for your THIGH, the one that could NEVER be worn on a normal day for more than one hour at a time because it lacks a crotch. But then an overwhelming fatigue hits you, and not one directly due to your multiple night-time feedings, the stressors of your job, or the countless times you played hostage negotiator with your kids. This fatigue is borne from the exhaustion of just thinking about what would likely happen if you wore those panties tomorrow. That is, if you can get them up past your knees without laugh-crying yourself into a heap on the floor. |
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September 2017
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