Elementary school is hard on parents, especially full-time working parents with long commutes who have multiple school-aged kids involved in all the activities. I’m not talking about missing out on Muffins with Mom or having to leave work early in a shame spiral every other week for this, that and the other. No, mamas, I’m talking about all the papers. The forms, the permission slips, the reading logs, the spelling sheets, the rocket math, the sign-ups for Duck Hatching Party donations, the request for rocks the size of a 7-year-old’s fist, the early dismissal reminders and the summer camp info. The slow build of crinkled corners and friendly fonts that has been filling my recycling bin and eating my soul since August.
As some sort of twisted mind fuck of a finale, my son came home last week with a schedule of “fun activities” planned for the last two weeks of school, all of which require special clothing and/or items each day. Camp day – bring a flashlight! Movie day – wear pajamas! Etcetera ad nauseam. But, the straw that broke this grouchy mama’s back is the oh-so-specific direction we received regarding today’s field trip:
Surely… surely the paper bag can just be eliminated. If the brown bag/sweaty drink is the issue here, why aren’t we just eliminating the brown bag? Why do I have to put a bag inside of a bag? Why is a PB&J and a banana a double bag situation?
I just can’t, mamas. And yet, I did. Please help. Will someone else homeschool my kids for me?