At age 4, my big-eyed, beautiful boy has been peeing in the toilet (mostly) like a real human for a solid year now. However, when he made the switch from sitting to standing, I realized that aim was something we were going to have to make a focused effort to cultivate. Not having a penis myself, I never realized that holding onto your member and directing your stream was not, in fact, a natural response. “NO!” I still shout on the daily. “Point it DOWN for the love of Pete!” I’ve grabbed his part myself to right a rogue stream. I’ve balled up wads of toilet paper to create makeshift targets. All with minimal success. And yes, mamas, I am fully aware that a wide range of reasonably priced, adorably named products exists to assist with this problem. But this MOTY ain’t buying into that market. Why? Read on.
Decals are vicious, disgusting diarrhea traps.
Danglers are dangerous temptresses.
Flushables have you almost literally flushing your money down the toilet.
Bottom line, mamas, my bathroom smells like a zoo. But my son is learning that going to the bathroom is a normal, mundane function. It's not supposed to be fun. It's just supposed to be relatively hygienic. I am accepting donations for new flooring though...in like five years.