When Des was little, we would refer to his private parts by using cutesy names. A penis was called a "bing" and a vagina a "chi chi" (pronounced "chai," like the most delicious tea drink known to man). As he grew older, we thought it important to make sure he knew the anatomically correct names for his in-betweens, I mean private parts, so we taught him that because we didn't want him to feel like I felt when, at 12 years old, I would still get the giggles in biology when the teacher would talk about sperm whales and asexual reproduction. Seriously, though, my inner middle-schooler always rears its awkward little head when I hear my son saying words such as "anus" instead of "butthole" and "urethra" instead of "pee hole." Maybe I should read this compelling Yahoo Answers article: How to Avoid Laughing in Biology Class.
"Hey mom, why does your vagina look like a butt?"
I laughed and stopped myself immediately. First, because I'm a grown up. Second, because what if my vagina (vulva, whatever) really did look like a butt? I turned to look at myself in the mirror.
"It just looks like a vagina, honey." I quickly covered myself up to save myself from further embarrassing questions and left him in the bathroom thinking God only knows what.
A few days ago, he walks into my room as I'm changing.
"Mom, does the line of your butt go all the way to your vagina?"
Oh God. Here we go again. I quickly dressed myself, explained as best I could that no, the butt line doesn't go into the vagina line. After he left for school, I hopped onto the computer. I tried to find 4-year-old appropriate pictures of anatomy to show him. Nothing that explained butt lines and vagina lines. It also got me wondering whether or not I should wander around naked in front of him. When does being naked in front of your children cross the line from being normal and natural to being creepy and you're-going-to-screw-them-up-for-the-rest-of-their-lives? Any advice would be greatly appreciated before the next set of questions regarding my privates comes up again.