Really?
My children are 9, 4 and 2. Now, I understand you may not be able to look at them in the cereal section at the Dollar General and discern their exact ages, but my youngest child walks, talks in full sentences, wears big girl panties and weighs 35 pounds. You could presumably place her over the age of, say, a few weeks old, which is when it might be appropriate to ask your question. Did you really think that during 600-some days of dadding to three kids, that my husband has never once left our home with the children in tow?
Really?
Husband, looking you straight in the eye: No. I’m actually a stay-at-home dad.
You: Nothing wrong with that!
No, Woman Who Uncomfortably Challenged Our Family’s Gender Expectations in the Dollar General, there isn’t. And while I recognize that you (likely) felt awkward in this moment and (hopefully) were trying to be nice, I’m left with this sinking feeling that you don’t even realize how rude you were. Nothing wrong with that? Your response implies that you think – or at least acknowledge that others think – that there is indeed something wrong with that. “Nothing wrong with that!” is a bizarre response when someone tells you what he does for a living. Still not seeing it? Imagine it this way:
Random Stranger in the Dollar Store: What do you do for a living?
Me: I’m a copywriter for a creative marketing agency.
Random Stranger in the Dollar Store: Nothing wrong with that!
Me: Um, no…? You’re rude and awkward. I’m going to finish my discount shopping now. Get out of my life.
Think I’m overthinking it? One more question then: If you had seen me in that same store, fumbling through my purse, with shopping cart full of kids and processed carbs, toddler tossing toilet paper onto the floor and preschooler pulling crap off the shelves, would it ever have occurred to you to ask me that same question? Have you ever once approached a mother and asked: First time out with the kids?