We've all heard the old adage, "There's no such thing as a free lunch." But, be warned, mamas: there's no such thing as free candy, either. Sure, you might be strolling through Walmart with your three kids in tow when a cheerful employee sporting jingle bells and a Santa hat (BEFORE Thanksgiving) stops to make pleasant conversation with your offspring. Would they like candy canes? he asks. So smiley, so energetic. Your kids' eyes will light up, and you'll be fooled into thinking this seasonal gesture is pure goodwill that is sure to sustain your children through the shopping trip and buy you, perhaps, an extra 12 minutes to mindlessly peruse the storage solutions you'll never actually invest in.
Think again. Have you never seen the anguish of a preschooler whose candy cane is broken? Have you not suffered the wrath when you refuse to "ASK THE MAN FOR ANOTHER ONE." No, mamas. The candy is not free. It comes with 45 solid minutes of loud, humiliating, irrational fury.