Mother Nature knows just how shitty it is to be pregnant for 9 months. She knows what it feels like to have lower back pain so intense that sitting down is painful. She knows what it feels like to have insane joint pain because your ligaments are constantly stretching. She knows what it feels like to have uncontrollable stomach itching because you're stomach skin is growing...growing...growing. She knows our pain, our struggles. This is why, in all of her omniscience, she gave us one beautiful thing: thick, healthy, shiny hair.
And then we give birth and there's this crazy, beautiful, wonderful little person who is all yours and you feel so lucky to be a mom and you radiate love and peace and goodwill to all your fellow men ...
Then, 2 weeks later, in the throes of mild post-partum depression, when you're still sore down there, leaking breastmilk everywhere, and suffering from chronic exhaustion, your hair starts falling out. Like, horror movie, girl-turning-into-a-bald-blood-sucking-creature falling out. Maybe 50 hairs falling out at a time. You shed hair, like a blood trail, across the floor wherever you walk. Hair on the toilet seat, hair in your food, hair in your mouth, hair on the baby. It's a freaking nightmare.
Or maybe I'll just say, "fuck it," and proudly wear my bald badge of honor.